Irritating, very irritating

The last two days I've been tiling and grouting a bathroom and shower. Caroline did all the bathrooms in the gites and never complained once. She just got on with it whilst I did other things. This time I thought I would have a go. As a first time tiler I asked Caroline's advice and (being a bloke) obviously ignored it. Mistake number 1. The job took me all day and made me ache everywhere. I tried various techniques and eventually settled on the one suggested by Caroline. As a first time grouter I again asked Caroline's advice and (still a bloke) ignored it again. Big mistake number 2. I tried grouting with a big rubber squidger thingy, but reverted (as advised) to a Marks & Spencer store charge card. The perfect implement. I also omitted to wear the rubber gloves, and now I'm typing in agony, with no fingerprints and large sections of skin missing from my fingers covered in band-aid.

The packet of grout said it was an irritant, and they were right, it's very irritating.

Tonsillectomy

Spent 23€ today for a visit to the hospital in Dinan today for a consultation with the anaesthetist in preparation for having my tonsils removed next week. George Washington died of a quinsy. That is the reason for my tonsillectomy, several quinsies (hospitalised) and bad throat infections.

Apparently it's going to be very painful, the doctor said I may be sent home with a morphine pump thingy, and I was to rest with no work for 10 days. Thats lots of time on the beach. Get well cards are welcome.

In France you have to pay for all your health care (the doctor costs 20€ in cash) but then you can reclaim up to 100% depending on your insurance covers. Americans may be used to this kind of thing, but as a ex-pat from the United Kingdom, I used to EVERYTHING being free courtesy of the National Health Service. As it happens my experience of the French system is far more favourable than the UK system, but you mileage may vary (as they say).

A small break in blogging but at least it will give me a chance to catch up on some reading and watch some French television in hospital.

A man of many hats

I've been wearing lots of hats today.

Started with vet's hat to help Caroline treat an egg bound chicken. It got poorly yesterday. We asked local chicken keepers and and we tried the remedies here, including sitting it in a bowl of warm soapy water, but unfortunately she didn't make it.

Spent a while on the mower (gardening hat) cutting the grass on the croquet lawn and front field. The lawns are looking good, apart from a few persistent moles, which is when I put on my pest control hat. I made a hole in the molehill to find the tunnel and just as I was lighting the smoke cartridge to stuff in the run, the hole filled up with earth from the mole digging. A quick poke with a stick and in goes the smoke. With luck he didn't manage to crawl away fast enough and should be an ex-mole. A bit ironic, trying to save an animal one minute and then kill another.

The fish still have white spot but at least none have died recently, so now (with vet's hat) I mixed in the medicine to the pond. The trouble with white spot is that you can only kill the parasites when they are free swimming from one fish host to the next. So repeated doses are required.

Gardening hat back on to scrape all the little weeds and grass from between the paviers on the patios in front of the gites. It's one of those jobs that sneaks up and by the time you notice all the greenery it's a major cleaning exercise. I have not finished but made a good start, because I got distracted by (painting hat) sanding down another window, and replacing the (glazing hat) putty at the bottom of some of the panes of glass. Caroline is doing the painting tomorrow so I wanted to get as many windows prepared as possible. Being south facing the windows take the full sun which seems to attack the wood stain and putty quite badly.

Whilst Caroline was at the shops getting some putty she got into a parisian parking situation. The car in front left a tiny gap, and the car behind was touching the towbar of our car. So, the only thing for it was to nudge backwardsa and forwards gently to make the gap big enough to escape. About 5 shuffles, she said

Wormery

After we got back from a nice day at La Fosse aux Vaults beach at St Lunaire our friends Linda and Ian turned up unexpectedly with a present for the children. A home-made wormery. So after tea we went worm hunting, and popped a couple of juicy specimens in the mud. We will have to wait and see what happens.

Driving in France

I got asked directions to Dinard today whilst walking to the boulangerie by a French lady in her car. I explained the way in my best French and advised her to follow the placards to St Brieuc and then Dinard after turning around. She seemed a bit confused so I asked again in French if she understood and she replied 'Yes' in English and drove off.

I recounted the story to Caroline, quite proud of myself, until she told me that the French for sign is panneau and a placard is a cupboard.

Maybe I should read some tips on Driving in France here and here before buying bread next time.

Moles

Whilst reading the Google Blog about the largest palindrome a reference was made to the movie Caddy Shack which reminded me about the gofers and the similarity to my mole problem. I'm currently waging war against moles in the garden which are wrecking the lawn. They are rife in Brittany and are a real pest. Almost everyday there is at least one new molehill which I stick a smoke cartridge down to try to kill it. Just when I think it's gone, up pops another mole, sometimes within hours. It's just like the movie and it's driving me nuts.

People occasionally say to me that the French are crazy drivers and drive too fast, but it's not something I've really noticed, but then today I think I've figured it out. They only drive fast at lunchtime. Certainly around Dinan, 12'o'clock strikes and they all drive flat out to get home for lunch. The rest of the time, there's no real hurry, but lunch is VERY important, and when you've only got a 2 hour lunch it's best to make to most of it :-)

Mother goose

Lucy (our Toulouse Goose) now has a pond that holds water for more than a day after I fixed the leak. She came out this evening to have a quick feed before returning to incubating the Muscovy duck eggs. She has lost quite a bit of weight using up her fat reserves.

Titre de propriete

We received a letter from the Notaire with our titre de propriété (title deeds) for the house and gites. I suppose the titre is the last piece of paperwork issued by the notaire after the Compromis de Vente and Acte de Vente. A good demonstration on the speed of bureaucracy in France, as we had bought the house over 18 months ago. The problem was that the titre was not ours, it was another English couples' house. The covering letter and breakdown of the account, with the amounts paid for the house, the agents fees, the notary fees etc. was ours, but the actual deeds belonged to someone else. Caroline went to visit the notaire to explain, who was extremely embarrassed and appologetic, and assumed, like us, that the various bits of paperwork had accidentally swapped envelopes during collation. Because he did not speak any English he then asked if Caroline could phone the other English couple and explain to problem and ensure everything was returned to it's rightful owners. Hopefully everything should sort itself out.

Back to work on the gites

Back to work after a day off yesterday. We had a fair amount of rain yesterday which highlighted a few thin patches in the gravel drive, so I shifted a couple of trailer loads to spread over the problem areas.

De-stoned 3kg of cherries so Caroline could make some Jam. I can smell it at the moment. Delicious. The rest of the vegtable patch is coming along nicely with tomatoes, red and yellow onions, potatoes, lettuce, haricot vert, and of course garlic.

The leak in Lucy's concrete pond has slowly been getting worse, so I've taken advantage of the fact that she spends all her time on her nest incubating the duck eggs to fix the problem. It turns out that the crack run right across and feels like it's been caused by soil movement under the pond. I chiselled out the crack to enlarge it then put in a strong cement and fine sand mix to plug the gap. We will find out tomorrow.

School show

Fête des Pères

Father's day, and the children's school show. Well to be technically correct the children's schools show because they both go to different village schools. In order to keep the village schools open the school in Les Champs Geraux shares classes with the school in the neighbouring village Plesder. The children are bussed back and forth at the end of each day. It keeps two schools open with half the number of teachers.

The school show, therefore, is both schools performing together with each class performing short songs, dances and sketches. Elizabeth and her class did some dances and Hugh was meant to be an acrobat in a circus, but got stage fright. I tried to take a few photos but the I failed to get a decent shot because the light levels were too low and/or the kids moved too fast and where blurred. I never had much luck with digital cameras, I only seem to get a decent shot outside and with a static subject.

First crop of Caroline's home grown potatoes harvested and eaten for Sunday roast.

Our Gites featured in the Daily Mail

Today we had a story published about our gites in the Daily Mail national newspaper.

Caroline Haycox, 38, and her husband, Ian, 41, moved to Brittany in September 2002 with their two children, Elizabeth, six and Hugh, four. Their intention was to buy and run a gite complex. Caroline Says: We were both IT consultants based in Hampshire, but I felt I was being pulled between work and home. The turning point came when we went on holiday to a gite complex in Brittany in May 2002. The couple running it had a young daughter. They were our inspiration. We decided to move to France and rent until we found a house to buy. A few months later we found this one, which met all our requirements. We wanted it to be habitable because of the children, to have the potential for five gites (two or three had to be ready for rental immediately, see www.brittany-holiday-gites.com), to have a courtyard and four acres of land to make it a child's paradise - if the children are happy on holiday, the parents will be too. So when we saw this, it was like a dream come true, and we put an offer in straight away. The house dates from 1870, and the previous owners had made the downstairs into one beautiful huge room with exposed stone walls that we use as our living room. My kitchen's on the middle floor with an office and playroom, while upstairs are three very large bedrooms. Our budget for the house was £250,000, including the cost of renovation - on which we've spent £30,000 so far. At the moment, we don't make enough to live on although we've downsized significantly in terms of lifestyle. We were warned we shouldn't bank on more than ten weeks a year in bookings, so, to live and run the company, pay taxes, pensions etc, we need those five gites. Now we're living partly off savings, but we're not too worried because we are confident we'll get there. It's been quite hard learning to live and work together, but we've split the running of the gites. Ian looks after general maintenance while I do the changeovers, the linen and cleaning. What I really love is doing the garden. Our children have settled in at the local school and, although I do miss friends still, I always console myself with the thought that everything here is far better than sitting in front of a computer.

Gite renovation

I've been working on two accounts this week. The first detailing our journey to France to find a gite business, and the second recounts the first 12 months (poss. 18 months) in France getting the gites ready and the various highs and lows on the way. The first story is already about 4000 words, the second is still in outline stage. Hopefully I should be publishing the first one soon. It's been interesting going through old e-mails, photos and receipts to try to piece together the chronology.

I found another baby fish floating on the surface this morning. I hope yesterday's medicine works, the moles are multiplying like crazy and the fish are disappearing. I wish it was the other way around.

Changeover day in the gites tomorrow, so I've been mowing the lawns again and Caroline has been weeding the garden because we just don't have time on a Saturday.

Looks like we might be in for a bumper crop of walnuts this year. We've got two walnut trees about 25m tall covered in green walnut 'fruits' slightly larger than a quails egg. Last year we got a few but they were not very big, so this spring I bashed the trunk and branches furiously with a big stick to encourage more walnuts. Apparently the tree gets 'scared' and reproduces as a defensive measure. The locals tell me that it works!
Once the walnuts fall from the tree the 'husk' seems to slowly dissolve and ooze a dark brown liquid that stains everything. We just collected the fallen nuts and stuck them in a string bag to dry out. They where delicious in apple pie (also from our trees).

Lucy is still incubating a full complement of duck eggs.

Sick goldfish

A few days ago the new goldfish that we bought to 'fill' the pond started to get white spots on their sides, and yesterday one of them died. Closer inspection showed that some of them seemed a little lethargic and 'under the weather'. Fortunately the Koi looked healthy, but a trip to the fish shop in St Malo was necessary. The man in the shop recommended some blue 'medicine' which has been added, so fingers crossed.

Slow pace of life in france

Elizabeth went to a friends 6th birthday party today. She's been to a few now and the general form seems to be about 3 hours long, about 6 to 10 children, a bit of cake, a few party games, a long walk round the village then picked up by Caroline. No party bags, no magician/clown/entertainer, no hired village halls with 20/30 kids, no parties planned months in advance (we got the invite on Monday), no big deal. It's makes a refreshing, and pleasant, change for people to be happy with simple entertainment. It's most agreeable.

Often things happen over here that makes me think that this part of France is very much England, but 20 years ago. Various things like - doctors you can see the same day, shops closing at lunch and ALL day Sunday, no traffic jams, people having the time to say hello and help out, family Sundays not at the garden centre or DIY store, village fetes, ...

Incubation started

The duck eggs arrived and are currently under Lucy.

The three largest eggs around the outside are her own eggs and the six smaller eggs the Muscovy Duck eggs from Carolines friend Celine. Celine has about 40 ducks and drakes so there is a high possibility we should have some ducklings. They are due on the 12th July.

Many of our friends keep chickens, ducks and rabbits but not as pets, purely for organic meat and eggs. The French seem to be quite happy to have huge pictures of cows and chickens etc. over the meat counter in the supermarket to reinforce the origin of the cellophane wrapped product. I can't ever remember a picture of a smiling cow in a supermarket in England except on a box of Dairylea. Celine's family all get involved in the transformation of the animals from mignon (cute) to freezer. Someone kills, another plucks, another guts and another cuts. An all-day production line.

I have a strong feeling we are going to keep our ducklings as pets, neither of us fancy the 'processing' part.

Lucy has gone broody

Saint Elisée

Lucy our Goose has gone broody. She has been sat on 3 eggs for a few days now. The bad news is they are all blanks because we haven't got a gander. Lucy is a Toulouse Goose, and the incubation period is about 28-35 days. Caroline's friend Celine keeps Muscovy ducks (which have about the same incubation period) and she is going to give us some eggs for Lucy to hatch. Maybe we'll have some ducklings next month.

The grass in the goats field was nearly waste high. For some strange reason she only likes short grass. Goats do not eat everything. It's a myth. So, the softy that I am, let loose with the strimmer and brush cutter attachment to cut all the grass to make hay. It was very hard work and I had to quit half-way though. At least Polly (the goat) is happy, for now.

I forgot to put a stamp on a letter that Caroline posted in the postbox in Les Champs Geraux. So after lunch Caroline went to the post office in Evran and explained the situation so the lady behind the counter popped out the back and came back with the letter for her to put a stamp on it !

Tour De France is coming this way on or about the 12th of July. The route passes within a couple of minutes of our house. I'll try and find more details.

Started reading The Girl With The Pearl Earing.

Garden recovery

Completed one of my odd jobs, fixing a fence panel that blew down in the wind a while ago. I've been putting it off until the fear of more gusts had subsided. After being on holiday for a week we had a fair bit of gardening to catch up on. Caroline tells me where to dig and hoe and weed and I charge at it like a bull in a china shop. Occasionally a wanted plant bites the dust, but thats the problem with cheap labour.

Smart toll booths

I had an interesting experience with a French tool booth today. On the way back from Les Sables D'Olonne in the Vendée there is a short section of péage (toll motorway) up to Nantes. You drive into the booth, collect a ticket, then pay at the other end. Depending on the vehicle's height and/or weight you play a different toll. I arrived at the booth in the car with two bicycles mounted vertically on the roof rack and waited for the ticket, and waited, and waited... it was then I noticed the big green arrow pointing up and hey presto there is another ticket dispenser about 2 meters off the ground. The booth must have thought I was a lorry and the extra high slot was positioned for a lorry drivers cab window.

The thought then crossed our minds that we might be charged extra for being a lorry. However when we arrived at the end of the péage it was obvious the situation was not uncommon. The credit card payment lanes had a height restriction and a HUGE sign waning motorists with bicycles on the roof not to proceed through the auto payment lane, but go to a manned payment booth, hence we got charged as a car not a lorry.

Another learning experience about France.

No further mishaps meant we got home in plenty of time to mow some of the lawns and put the welcome packs in the gites ready for our new guests this week.

Time to go home

Lazy day, preparing to pack for an earlyish start on Saturday. Hugh's back in the swimming pool now his sore bits have healed and he seems to be back to full speed on his bike. Finished reading The Alchemist. I just couldn't put it down. A book that made me think about fate, destiny and the different directions one takes in life.

Activity Park

A day trip to a children's park with ball pools, various rides, slides, swings, water slides, crazy golf (Caroline won again by 6 stokes). Need more practice.

We all really enjoyed the park, but I wouldn't expect children over 12 or 14 to find that much to keep them occupied. There are some larger rides but not enough to keep you occupied all day.

Started reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and couldn't put it down even though I was dog tired.

Canoeing

Busy day. Crazy golf (Caroline won by 4 strokes), swimming in the pool, lunch on the promenade at Les Sables D'Olonne, bit of messing about on the beach and a swim, hired a canoe for the 4 of us and went paddling around the salt marshes. The area is famous for it's salt marshes where they create small 'ponds' to trap the salt water and then harvest the salt as the water evaporates. The area is known as Les Salines. Finally we all ate out in a restaurant close to the camp site in the evening.

Finished reading Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong by fading sunlight. I enjoyed the book and learn much about French history, their culture and political system. It has added quite a bit of clarity as to why some things are the way they are. I realised that the French culture is different, but now I appreciate quite how different. As an Englishman living in France I think we forget that our closet neighbour can be so different from us. I did find that the authors tended to repeat themselves towards the end, reusing previous examples to make a different point, but on the whole I would recommend the book to any 'Anglo-Saxon' living, or going to live, in France.

Hugh crashes

Car key now works as usual. I guess a little extra drying out overnight sorted the problem. Pheww!

From the campsite there are a series of cycle paths through the forest along the coast, via the salt marshes and all the way up to Brem Sur Mer. There must be tens of kilometres of really nice cycling. We took a picnic, and the four of us set off for the day. With a 6 and 4 year old it was fantastic to be able to cycle straight from the tent on special cycle paths safe from traffic. The cycle route was perfect for the children, but unfortunately Hugh got the speed bug. He just keep wanting to go faster and faster. As all parents do, we kept reminding him to use his brakes and slow down or he would crash. Well the inevitable happened, he crashed, luckily only about 1km away from home on the return trip after about 9 km's. He managed to badly graze it hip, side and elbow with a fairly major high speed accident. He is a bit more circumspect now !

From the campsite there was direct access to the beach and the Atlantic. The sea was a bit rough with some people surfing, but I went for a swim cos I like crashing into the waves. The sea was surprisingly warm. Hugh and Elizabeth didn't fancy the sea, especially with Hugh's sore bits.

Electronics and water do not mix

Had a superb lunch out in Les Sables D'Olone by the port. Less than 40€ for the four of us, three courses and wine.

In the afternoon we went swimming in the pool, but I forgot to take the car keys out of my shorts. After swimming around a while I realised what I'd done. It wouldn't be much fun being locked out of the car whilst on holiday. So I dismantled the key fob and took out the battery, circuit board and laid it all out in the sun to dry. Fingers crossed. When we got back to the car and I tried it and the red light flashed on the key fob but the doors did not unlock. Nothing for it but to use the old fashioned mechanical way of a key in the lock. I now know the car hasn't got an immobiliser, fortunately, so it wasn't too serious. Anyway with a sunset like this, who cares.

Sausages

Spent most of the day exploring the campsite and in the swimming pool and water slide. The weather was beautiful and sunny and we did the typical tourist thing of all going a bit pink.

Tried out our portable gas BBQ for dinner. The first course was very successful, but, as you can see, the second course ended up a bit too char-grilled. We left the food on the grill turned down to minimum with the lid shut just to keep it warm, however it got a bit too warm. Lesson learnt.

The start of our camping holiday. Since arriving in France nearly 2 years ago we haven't had a break and we thought we all needed a holiday. We decided this week we would not accept any bookings, get a house sitter to look after the chickens, goose and goat and manage the watering etc. All the guests left promptly and we managed a record changeover, all cleaned and ready for the following week by 12:30.

Quick lunch, finished packing the car (most of the tenting equipement, bikes etc. had already been packed the night before) and we left by 1pm. Caroline asked her friends where the French go camping and based on her recommendation we decided on Les Sables D'Olonne in the Vendée.

Arrived late afternoon, it's about three hours drive south of us on the Alantic coast just before La Rochelle.

The architectural changes were the most notable. Once we passed Nantes most of the houses went from 2 & 2 storey stone and slate roofs, to white/cream single storey with red clay 'half-pipe' tiles. It's quite a difference and makes you feel like you are in a different country.

Pitching the tents was comical (the last time we went camping was at Le Mans to watch the 24 hour race about 7 years ago). A few false starts and collapses and we finally pitched, and (being English) got the kettle on. There was only one other tent on the site, all the other camping pitches (about 50) where empty. Further up the site (near the swimming pool, bar, etc.) were all the mobil homes, and 'permanent' tents for package tours. Luxury, we had the shower and toilet block to ourselves.

Mowing marathon

No more progress on the Fireplace, the exploding toilet and todays mowing marathon saw to that. I've spent just about all day mowing the grass and strimming edges today and I'm ready for a beer and bed. I think I must have had a reaction to grass pollen, because my eyes are very sore and puffy and I feel rotten. Having a big garden (2 hectares) is great for the guests staying in the gites but at this time of year it's a full time job. Even though I've got a monster ride-on mower with a 48 inch (1.2 meter) cut it still takes most of the day. Normally we would cut a quarter or a third each day and rotate round to break it up, but various other jobs and interruptions (and fantastic growing weather) has meant we had to do it all today. Tomorrow (Saturday) we have three changeovers for the new guests in the gites (which takes most of the day) and on Sunday you are not really allowed to mow because of noise pollution laws in France, so the next opportunity would be Monday, which would mean the grass would be getting too long to leave the clippings on the ground. A little and often (like most things in life) is best.

Broyeur boys

My friend and I went to give someone a hand to install a broyeur (mashing toilet) in their bathroom. Ian is a bit of a plumber and I do electric's and we both wield a mean cordless screwdriver. They had a bit of a strange arrangement in the bathroom. The was a bath, a hand washbasin and a bidet, but no toilet. The toilet was down on a lower floor ! I can only assume that if you needed to use the bidet you had to waddle up the stairs with your trousers round your ankles. Rather an odd arrangement.

The cunning plan was to remove the bidet and replace it with a broyeur. Instead of the large 100mm waste normally used for toilets it mashes then pumps the waste out of a 40mm pipe. The normal size pipe for a bath or handbasin. Because it pumps I think you can also evacuate uphill.

Plan going perfectly, electric's in, water off, old bidet out, hot water capped off, cold water supply to broyeur connected and finally 40mm waste connected to existing bidet waste pipe. The only slight complication was that the current waste pipe was only about 38mm and made of lead. It's an old house. So a bit of inventiveness, sealant and jubilee clips got the thing connected up.

The first test run was uneventful. A bit of water filled the bowl, the pump kicks in, but not alot happens. The second run and the bowl fills up with water almost to the top then the pump fired. KAAPOOWW, water everywhere. We'd spent so long on the lead to plastic joint we'd forgotten to tighten the jubilee clip on the toilet and now the powerful pump had been primed it shot the water out, and over us. It was extremely funny, especially when you consider what might have happened.

Daily Mail

BBQ party tonight. Really good party with guests from the gites and a few local friends.

I built the BBQ from an oil drum cut in half with a few bits welded on for legs.

We also had the Daily Mail come and take a few photos and an interview about us moving to France. It should be published in the Mail on Saturday 19th June 2004.

BBQ (tomorrow)

Did a little more on the fireplace (just a few rows of stones) but I got distracted finishing off a BBQ that I started building last year. It's made of an oil drum, cut in half with some legs welded on. I finished off the grill part today because we and all the guests staying in the gites planned to have a BBQ party tonight. However, the weather turned against us, so it's postponed until tomorrow.